Money

Money, cash, dosh, moolah, scheckles, wonga, spondoolicks, whatever you call it, we either don't have enough or want more when we do have enough. Money makes the world go around according to Liza minelli and that irritating song. Irritating and factually incorrect.
I was a single parent to two daughters for nine years and after my ex husband left we had nothing. I was so thrifty and economically bereft i probably could have done a better job than the chancellor of the exchequer. I had my own GDP. Once my youngest started pre-school i put myself through university to get my B.A and had a part time job cheffing. I forgot what sleep was but i was never going to let my situation get the better of me.
I wasn't born into money or handed anything on a plate. I worked hard and continue to do so. People who look down on folk down on their luck piss me off immensely. They assume the worst and are most often wrong. The stigma attached to being a single parent is, in most circumstances, unjust and unfair. We don't wake up one morning and think 'hey...you know what i'd love to do with my life...' The situation arises for various reasons. Mine was marrying a despicable copper bottomed shit who invented the little black book. I was unfortunate but life goes on.
I write for a living now, which i love, and i have a wonderful partner who i also love.
My mum came from an affluent background and will readily tell you that her family were the first on their street to get a television. It might be worth noting that this was 1950's Yorkshire and not 1980's Newcastle. My dad, however, was born into poverty. He used to tell me and my sister that he was so poor his mum used to paint his feet black and lace his toes up or that when he were a lad he used to have to get excited watching kids go to the fair. I suspect the first one to be a fib mainly because he told us a lot of mad shit and still does. For example he also told us that he was so tough as a kid that during the war he was evacuated to London. Just to clarify, my dad was born in 1950.
Where you live depicts your social status and depends on what you earn-or at least that is the view by today's society. If you live in a council property then you are considered skint, lazy or a benefits scrounger, if you live in a large house or cottage in a nice village you are considered well off. If you live in a mansion or a castle you are considered  a bit of a twat. None of which are entirely true apart from maybe the last one. I live in a nice village where in the words of my long suffering partner 'there's a lot of money in this village and none of it's ours'. We have a pub, a community centre and a church in our village. No shops. Most of us go to the pub at least once a week where we chat and have a laugh with absolutely no pretense. The village folk are good people and have made us feel welcome although if my Irish family rocked up one day with their dogs on pieces of string and asking why the Guinness in the pub tastes like shite they may take a different view.
The reason behind my partner making the comment about none of the money being ours is because i like to spend it on holidays...regularly. What better thing is there to spend our hard earned cash on? Haters hate if you like-i won't hear you from Greece. Him indoors complains i've booked another holiday but i don't see him complaining at the all inclusive bar or when he's snoring on a sun lounger. The poor bastard.
Some folk spend their money on cars or motorbikes or clothes but we all, at some point, spend our money on bills. Bills are a boring necessity which means you are officially a grown up. The childish voice in my head still wants to spend money on sweets and comics and fuck the council tax. I don't listen to that voice because if i did i'd be living in a converted bean bag eating my own toe nails. It's time to put away childish things.
The best piece of advice i've been handed down by one of my beloved aunties is 'you don't get rich by spending your money'. I live by this until i find a bargain holiday somewhere warm.
Some people are good with money and some aren't. It's just the way it is. I do the finances in my household and i like to pay the bills and save where i can. I'm a bit like Shylock but not as generous and without a beard. Everyone else in my house likes to spend money willy nilly (ha ha...she said willy-that's the childish comic buying voice in my head again) My kids are pretty good with money most of the time. I've trained them to respect the money they earn but that doesn't seem to translate with the money i earn. That is fair game. My youngest daughter is the only kid i know that will try and spend money at a doctor's surgery. She makes Elton John look like an ameteur. The sultan of Brunei would blush at her concept of other people's money. She's a good kid though and she'll do alright. She's already a published poet and sports photographer so i don't worry.
To conclude this blog i'll leave you to read and digest some dodgy Abba lyrics penned from their hit 'money money money'.

'in my dreams i have a plan,
if i get a wealthy man
i wouldn't have to work at all
i'd fool around
i'd have a ball'

What the actual fuck??? This song was written by two men for two women to sing. They are basically referring to women as vacuous money grabbing hose beasts with absolutely no moral compass and who can't survive without finding a rich bloke ( or O.I.L - old ill and loaded) Times have changed since the 1970's ladies and gents. We women want orgasms now too.